Patience

This is truly the latest virtue that I need to learn.  As a mother I have my days where I can be patient through the longest and loudest tantrums, then the days where I am at boiling point all day and it doesn’t take hardly anything for me to start whistling.  Lately I feel like I am going through one of those “growing” stages where I am getting bombarded with opportunities to show how patient I can be.  The problem with them is that it seems that when I am not doing such a good job at being patient things get harder, then I learn and stretch and just when I think I have it down I am thrown another blast of patience opportunities.

I have to admit that since my last post I have not done anything to work on my journey.  I haven’t even been able to get all my laundry put away before the next wave is around (which I know it NEVER ends, but still I thought I had it figured out).  I have had some quiet moments where I have pondered a bit about how best to begin exercising again and wanting to meal plan so we can all eat healthier, but I just haven’t really done more than think on it.

Yesterday I was at my lowest.  When I have several days of not really being able to pull myself together and I realize I haven’t gotten much done I lose all patience with myself.  The problem with losing patience with myself is that I start to become very lazy and very self-destructive.  I spent the day in front of the TV watching NOTHING.  This is what I do when I can’t be patient with myself.  I need to learn that I don’t have to be constantly on the go all day every day, it is ok to sit down and relax for a minute.  I tend not to allow myself that. 

The problem with having a day like I did yesterday is that after a super blah day, with the patience that I have lost, I tend to over do the day that follows.  Then I panic when I don't get everything done and I beat myself up more.  So I need to be patient and realize that I can only go too fast.  I guess one thing is that on those bad days I end up reading a few posts on Facebook by those super mom's that get all errands run, cleaning done and they still manage to have a fabulously cooked healthy meal for their families.  The thing is if someone is truly that amazing all the time, great for them, I am not.

So note to self, remember that it is OK to slow down.  In fact, I would say it is necessary.  Give yourself a break and don’t be so impatient if you have a day of nothing.  Don’t let it take over your life like you have in the past.  Remember that you really do need to be able to walk, and walk well, before you can run.  Geesh!  I didn’t mean to have another longer post J thanks for reading.

By the way I had my wonderful husband hide the TV remote from me today so I wouldn't be tempted...